Kingsley's Claws

Kingsley Holding Things

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In this edition of KHT: a phone.

When my Ma found out I was taking stealthy photos of a friend holding things for my own amusement, she wasn’t pleased. Not in a I’m-disowning-you kind of way, more in a tut-tut-I-raised-you-better-than-this way. The worst kind. So she made me apologise to him. She said:

You shoon’t do dat. Dat’s rood. And you shoon’t post to your internet website wizout asking. Dat’s rood, too. Tomorrow, you tell Kinzlay you are sorry. Or else!!

Have I mentioned that my mother met him only once, briefly, along with a slew of my other friends, and that he’s the only one she likes because she’s BFF with Sir Ben Kingsley and that’s the only reason she remembers his name? No? Now you know.

So to please her, of course, I replied “Yes, Ma” and left her house Charlie Brown style, not at all intending to do it. What am I, some kind of child?!

Except, as moms are wont to do, she really managed to make me feel bad about it. The disappointment in her eyes was real. It reminded me of the day my middle school discipline counsellor called her in the middle of the work day to tell her I was being suspended for three days for defacing school property. With a pencil.

And so, the next day, I apologised. Because the fear of the disappointment my Ma would feel upon finding out I didn’t do as instructed was far scarier than the sense of rebellion I would feel were I not to.

That being said, that there is a photo from today’s lunch outing to Sweetsalt with the rest of the gang. Paris was driving and needed directions to the place, which was, if you’re curious, absolutely 100% delicious and totally worth every penny and cuts to the roofs of my mouth from the bread crust. Carbs with a hint of iron? Yes, please!

And no, Kingsley doesn’t know about it (yet), and no, he did not give me permission to post this. But here’s a preemptive apology: I’m sorry, Ma for poking fun at Kingsley’s claws hand. And I’m sorry, Kingsley, that you have freakish appendages. You…have nice…hairs…? So there’s that.

OH, and this was a thing. I love me a good pun.
Walkens

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