Illuminati Pet Lizard Man

You know how, according to the legends, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach? The way into mine is way easier, not legendary, and doesn’t even involve money or cooking skills. All you have to do is mention ‘dinosaurs’ and draw me monsters, and my clothes fall off. Instantly. 

Or, as it happened, my heart leapt out of my chest like it was its first time. It’s been so long since the last time that happened, I thought I was dying. And guess who had a stupid grin etched on their face the rest of the day? Everybody else, because all of my clothing thankfully stayed on.